What do you do when you’re sixty? Or forty or fifty, or seventy? Where do you go with your life? How do you decide what direction to take? What are your choices, now?
Is this (for me) a mid-life crisis, rather later than most? A spiritual dilemma? A family breakdown, when you no longer hold the family together and they no longer hold you together? What is this empty place in which I find myself and in which I am losing myself?
This can come at any time I think. Age has some relevance but it’s not all about age. A life crisis can come at any age. At thirty – what shall I do now? No husband, no children, but feeling the need and desire for both. At forty, with small children, alone or with a partner, with money problems, social pressures to conform, to be the person other people expect; saying “yes” when you want to say “no”, just sometimes. At fifty, children gone, possibly husband gone too, possibly not; identity problems within a relationship: “who am I now”? “where am I going now”?
Or at sixty, where I arrived four years ago.
Are you an independent woman? Am I an independent woman? What does it mean to be an independent woman? What is independence? Is it just the opposite of dependence? I have been thinking about this, before I was able to start the blog. What does independence mean for me; what difference does it make to my life?
Independence is usually fought for and hard won and then safe-guarded; witness what is happening in the so-called Arab Spring right now. The Egyptian people are having to fight again to have some measure of independence and freedom of choice in their government and some control over their lives, but they are in a different situation now than when the riots first began. And Syria is currently the scene of a tragedy that beggars belief. So it happens in steps. We don’t wake up one day and declare ourselves to be independent and therefore we are.
Independence, for me, means freedom of thought, of opinions; independence of being. Independent women have a sense of their own identity, even though it might sometimes wobble.